Mother, Nature: A 5,000-Mile Journey by Jedidiah Jenkins
A codependency cautionary tale. The author takes
extraordinary, but unsuccessful, measures to gain his mother’s approval. His
mother listens to conservative talk radio and evangelical Christian preachers. She
lives in Tennessee and is unvaccinated. He lives in California, and is vaccinated
and gay. They take a road trip where they reminisce, and he tries to convince
her to accept his sexuality. As with many codependent relationships, neither
person changes.
The author is approaching forty, and his mother is in her seventies. He is single. Throughout this book, he is concerned about whether his mother will attend his wedding and approve of the man he chooses to marry. I found it interesting that little energy was invested in the question, “Why hasn’t he found that man?”
Much of the book reminisces about his parents. His father, Peter Jenkins, and his mother, Barbara Jo Pennell, were minor celebrities in 1978, when they walked from New Orleans to Florence, Oregon. A Walk Across America by Peter Jenkins was published in 1979. Jedidiah was born after the walk in 1982. His parents divorced in 1987.
A codependent person typically prioritizes the needs and well-being of others over their own, often at the expense of their own self-esteem and happiness. He asserts, “There are pillars of what a child wants from their parent, which are to be loved, to be liked, and to be approved of.” This could also be a definition of codependency.
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