Carl Hiaasen writes humorous hyperbolic satire
about crazy Floridians. The 45th president was too good a subject to
pass up. Squeeze Me is about Mastodon, his wife Mockingbird, and his country
club Casa Bellicosa. It also includes a plague of giant pythons and the POTUS
Pussies, a fiercely loyal group of Palm Beach women fiercely loyal to the
president. Fans of Hiaasen will not be disappointed. N.B., when Biden was
elected Hiaasen added an epilogue to commemorate the end of Mastodon’s fall
from power.
The protagonist is Angie Armstrong, a wildlife removal expert. “Tonight’s feature starred the commander-in-chief himself. Angie had been summoned to Casa Bellicosa to unfasten a screech owl from the presidential pompadour, which the low-swooping raptor had mistaken for a road-kill fox.”
Mockingbird on her husband, “All because my husband doesn’t trust anyone with an Islamic name. Or Jews, or blacks, or Asians, or Hispanics, or Mormons, or whatever. God, it’s exhausting to keep track.”
“The sitting President of the United States was a soulless imbecile who hated the outdoors.”
Summary: “I don’t know. Prepare for a plague of pythons?” “Shit, Angie.” “Major fuckage,”
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