Quiet by Susan Cain seems to be required reading for the one-out-of-three people who are introverts, and anyone who is a parent, teacher, partner, or friend of an introvert-yes, everyone. Cain opens with: contemporary society worships an Extrovert Ideal. A Culture of Character has been forsaken for one of Personality (a twentieth-century invention). Education, employment, and success are for extroverts. There is a whole industry, tracing back to Dale Carnegie, to convert introverts into extroverts. This book alternately praises introverts as they are or teaches them how to become pseudo-extroverts.
You might wonder: What is an introvert? One good definition is that introverts are energized by solitary activities and extroverts are energized by group activities.
This book has two messages for introverts. One, you are perfect the way you are. Two, you can pass as a pseudo-extrovert. This is a mixed message, but it might explain the book’s popularity. However, I wonder if this will change over time. It is hard to imagine a book today espousing that blacks become pseudo-whites, gays become pseudo-straights, or women become pseudo-men. A follow-on book is called Quiet Power and might represent a step beyond pseudo-extrovert.
Introvert Advantages
Introverts will appreciate the many lists and anecdotes of the advantages of being an introvert.
“…have mighty powers of concentration. They’re relatively immune to the lures of wealth and fame.”
“…high productivity is one biological basis of introversion.”
“By sticking to her own gentle way of doing things, Laura had reeled in new business for her firm and a job offer for herself.”
“College students who study alone learn more over time than those that work in groups.”
Extrovert Disadvantages
Introverts will also appreciate, schadenfreude, examples where the Extrovert Ideal backfires.
“The HBS teaching method implicitly comes down on the side of certainty. The CEO may not know the best way forward, but she has to act that way.”
“…being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity.”
“…produced more ideas when they worked on their own than when they worked as a group.”
“It’s so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent.”
Personal Stories
Introverts will see themselves in many of the anecdotes.
“[Introverts] think in an unusually complex fashion.”
“…highly empathetic.”
“…if you were a nice person, you’d get crushed. I refused to live a life where people could do that to me… If I wanted to be a nice person, I needed to run [the organization]”
“I could literally go years without having any friends except my wife and kids.”
Cupertino
The book spends significant time on Cupertino’s Monta Vista High School, 77% Asian-American. I lived and raised my children within 100 meters of this school. My experience was diametrically opposite to the authors. I expect this is partially confirmation bias and partially her few outsider interviews versus my day-to-day lived experience.
While the author espoused the Asian-American stereotypes of studious and shy, I found the reality much different. In this majority-Asian school, there were studious and shy students, but they were not all Asian. There were also students interested in non-academic activities, or who didn’t do their homework, or with low grades. Some of those students were Asian. I felt this was an ideal environment to combat Asian stereotypes.
If you want to learn how an introvert can better live in an extrovert world, or just want support for living as an introvert, this book is perfect. If you are an introvert who feels isolated, this book (with so many stories of introverts) will be a comfort.
No comments:
Post a Comment